A Man's Greatest Fear

By Lodve Østrem

12.11.17

by Lodve Østremfrom the Brothers Team

A Man’s Greatest Fear

«Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding in things in life that don´t really matter.»  (Francis Chan, “Crazy Love”) I do not write this just because it is a quote from a book. I write it because I know it to be true. The fear of failing and then feeling stupid is maybe the one thing I hate the most. It makes me want to find a shovel, dig the deepest hole ever, and simply just disappear. Escape. Grab the ball and leave the game. To master, on the other hand, I love. Being on top of things. Being the king. Being good at something. Knowing in my heart «I´ve got this. I´m in control of things..» I find it interesting to see how we often turn from the things we feel we are failing at, to the things we master. And very often the things we master and turn to, does not include relationships. Actually sometimes relationships are what we turn FROM. Men turn from interacting with their kids, to spending longer days at work. Men turn from investing into their marriage to investing in their hobby. Men turn from building long-lasting friendships to spend time alone. Why? Because relationships can be demanding. They demand action, involvement, sacrifice, putting your self on the side, interaction with an other person with thoughts and feelings that you are not in control of. Some days a relationship will make you fail and feel stupid. It is in the nature of communication. And once it gets hard and difficult, you easily turn to the things you master because of the fear of failing. Your car does not demand these things from you. Neither does your fishing-rod, your motorbike, your computer-game or your work. Nor a shallow, superficial friendship for that sake. This fear of failing keeps you from doing things that make your life and the life of those around you reach new heights. It robs you of what you actually and truly need. When was the last time fear made you back down? Maybe you just missed a once in a lifetime opportunity because of the fear of failing. Or maybe fear has robbed you of great things not just once, but continually throughout your whole life. Do not let the fear of failing and feeling stupid stop you from investing in true and deep friendships. Do not settle for mediocre friendships where you are always in control and keep people from seeing the real you. Invest, dear to fail and face your fear. The reward will be greater than you know. You need it. And remember, the bitter taste of failure will always be better than the result of never trying. In failure you learn, and in overcoming fear, you grow stronger.

A Man's Greatest Fear

By Lodve Østrem

12.11.17

by Lodve Østremfrom the Brothers Team

A Man’s Greatest Fear

«Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding in things in life that don´t really matter.»  (Francis Chan, “Crazy Love”) I do not write this just because it is a quote from a book. I write it because I know it to be true. The fear of failing and then feeling stupid is maybe the one thing I hate the most. It makes me want to find a shovel, dig the deepest hole ever, and simply just disappear. Escape. Grab the ball and leave the game. To master, on the other hand, I love. Being on top of things. Being the king. Being good at something. Knowing in my heart «I´ve got this. I´m in control of things..» I find it interesting to see how we often turn from the things we feel we are failing at, to the things we master. And very often the things we master and turn to, does not include relationships. Actually sometimes relationships are what we turn FROM. Men turn from interacting with their kids, to spending longer days at work. Men turn from investing into their marriage to investing in their hobby. Men turn from building long-lasting friendships to spend time alone. Why? Because relationships can be demanding. They demand action, involvement, sacrifice, putting your self on the side, interaction with an other person with thoughts and feelings that you are not in control of. Some days a relationship will make you fail and feel stupid. It is in the nature of communication. And once it gets hard and difficult, you easily turn to the things you master because of the fear of failing. Your car does not demand these things from you. Neither does your fishing-rod, your motorbike, your computer-game or your work. Nor a shallow, superficial friendship for that sake. This fear of failing keeps you from doing things that make your life and the life of those around you reach new heights. It robs you of what you actually and truly need. When was the last time fear made you back down? Maybe you just missed a once in a lifetime opportunity because of the fear of failing. Or maybe fear has robbed you of great things not just once, but continually throughout your whole life. Do not let the fear of failing and feeling stupid stop you from investing in true and deep friendships. Do not settle for mediocre friendships where you are always in control and keep people from seeing the real you. Invest, dear to fail and face your fear. The reward will be greater than you know. You need it. And remember, the bitter taste of failure will always be better than the result of never trying. In failure you learn, and in overcoming fear, you grow stronger.